Revised Blog 20

               The makeover is deeply ingrained in our culture. Girls and women are raised doing makeovers as recreational activities. This includes makeovers on themselves, on their friends, or on dolls and toys. Greenfield captures this obsession with makeovers in her photos taken at a weight loss camp in New York. In our society, a women with a thin body is worshipped and valued, thin is equal to better. This makes it very difficult to live as an overweight girl in our society. Through her photos, Greenfield shows the struggle that these girls experience. However, these photos provoke other questions such as the struggle in the girls own home. Are their families forcing the girls to change their physical appearance to fit societal expectations or is it in the best interest of the girls? In Girl Culture there is small pieces of narration for the photos, but many pictures are asking us what we think.


              From outlining I learned that an outline is a very useful tool for dissecting a piece of writing. The format makes it very easy to see the relationship between the topic sentences and the thesis. Then by reading further down you can see the examples the author is using to support his argument. Outlines allow for a quick analysis when looking back on the paper later on. An outline could also be used in prewriting your own piece. You can outline your main points and thesis and then fill in the supporting ideas. Next just add fillers and explanations and you have a rough draft. After trying to rewrite Brumberg's paragraph, I learned that it is very easy to drift away from the original and incorporate your own ideas. On my first attempt I used my outline, which was missing one or two ideas, and added my own ideas. My paragraph is about the same topic but it ended up being pretty different. However if I had had the original open, it would have been very similar to the original. So to rewrite it is good to do two drafts, one without looking at it and another while looking and then create a hybrid of the two paragraphs.