Blog 32: Initial Thoughts on the Audience

              There is no such thing as a general audience. Events will always affect one group more than others. The event or issue may affect multiple groups of people, but there is always one group that is affected more than others.
               The main group that is impacted by this issue is minor league baseball players, college players, and high school players. Minor league players are affected because it is their pay. It is the amount of money they are getting payed for working. College and high school players are affected cause they may be considering going pro and forfeiting college scholarships to go pursue their chances of making it to major league baseball. Most of the groups don't know much about the pay until they get to the minor leagues. On sports networks such as ESPN, the only salaries ever reported are those of the highest paid players, the record deals worth hundreds of millions. Young players see these numbers and think everyone gets paid, so their knowledge is very limited on the topic. Some other people who are in the audience are owners of the teams and the fans. The fans support everything that is going on probably because they have no idea what is going on. Their knowledge is also limited to what they see on television. The owners are involved because they have control over everything that is going on. They own the teams and the money that is used to pay the players. The owners fully know what is going on but it is not important to them unless there is a wide spread call for change. The owners could be against any change because it will cost them more money.
                 In order to understand the situation, the audience will need to know about minimum wage, how baseball contracts work, and then the costs that players have after they do get their contracts.

https://pixabay.com/static/uploads/photo/2014/12/18/17/52/baseball-player-572620_640.jpg

Blog Post 31: My Proposed Public Argument

               An idea that I have for my public argument is the wage inequality between minor league and major league baseball players. I think this should be changed and the wealth should be more evenly distributed. The situation is that the way money is handled in baseball organizations needs to be changed. There needs to be a minimum salary for minor leaguers that is at least at minimum wage. The message I will have is there needs to be higher salaries for these men. The audience is baseball fans, baseball players, and the owners of the baseball teams. The purpose of this argument would be to get fair wages. They don't have to be the same as major leaguers but they need to be at a level where they aren't below minimum wage.

http://throughthefencebaseball.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/money-baseball.jpg

               

Blog Post 30: Analysis of Public Argument

               In her letter to Governor Brewer, Kassandra Diaz uses a professional and respectful tone. One of her first phrases, "in the hopes of discussing", conveys a respectful tone. Kassandra isn't demanding anything. She is just putting the idea out there and showing her desire to talk. Other places that show her professional tone are around the transitions. One example is "another area of concern". Kassandra isn't just saying there is a problem. By saying area of concern it makes it so it is something that can be discussed. This tone is very fitting considering she is writing a formal letter. A formal letter is supposed to be very professional. It is often written about serious topics and must therefore be taken very seriously. By using a professional and respectful tone Kassandra can make her formal letter more successful.
                Kassandra never really establishes her ethos. She says she is a freshman at the University of Arizona which gives her some credibility since she is a student pursuing higher education. However at the end she states that she is in Biology Department in the College of Science. This doesn't get her any credibility because biology isn't related to healthcare funding. Biology is related to healthcare but not the funding. This isn't effective because there is no proof that she knows what she is talking about. She could have done outside research to form her points but no one knows the sources or how she got the ideas. Studying biology doesn't give her the credibility needed.
                The main claim of Kassandra's letter is that the governor should reconsider the budget cuts. To support her argument Kassandra focuses on the negative consequences of the budget cuts. One of her points is that the cuts will have the strongest negative effects on the elderly, disabled, and impoverished. For her evidence she uses a few statistics but mostly explains the effects that the cut would cause. However it is not clear what Kassandra wants from this letter. Does she just care about the well being of all of the people it would effect, does she have familial connections, or does it have another meaning for her.
                 My recommendation for how to make this letter stronger is to include some statistics about who depends on medicaid programs and also statistics about medical costs with and without medicaid assistance. This would more effectively explain the negative effects that the budget cut would have on the people who are dependent on medicaid. These statistics would give Kassandra solid evidence that the budget cut will have negative effects on these people.

Blog 29: Rhetorical Analysis Reflection

               After writing my rhetorical analysis and reflecting on the process, I learned that drafting is very important for my writing process. When I wrote my analysis, I started out with a broad thesis. As I moved from my first draft to my next one, my thesis and my paper became more specific. A solution that would avoid this would be for me to do more specific pre-writing or outlining. That way I could catch it earlier. If I do that then I will be able to focus on changing other things when it comes to drafting. Overall I believe that this paper is more successful than my last paper. A reason why is that I used much more analysis. On the previous paper I had a lot of summary and I didn't try to persuade or analyze as much. For the rhetorical analysis I added multiple analysis points throughout each paragraph. Every idea I presented was analyzed.
                  From writing this rhetorical analysis, I learned that being able to rhetorically analyze a situation is essential for any successful argument. You can have the best evidence and data but if you present it to the wrong audience in the wrong context, then it will have the same affect as using made up data. They could not have any idea about what is going on or just not want to listen. This applies to my engineering class because at the end of the year we will be having to give a presentation. To have a successful presentation I will have to analyze who my audience is so that I can convey my information the proper way. It would not be smart to use acronyms if my audience doesn't have the same knowledge level on the topic. The acronyms won't mean anything to them. Rhetorical analysis of a situation goes beyond just writing papers for english class.

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Blog Post 28: Link to HONY Draft

Here's a link to my draft.

Blog Post 27: Thesis and Outline

My thesis is:

In Humans of New York, Brandon Stanton uses photographs and commentary to display the uniqueness of the average person and to generate support for humanitarian issues.

Here is a link to my outline.

Blog Post 26: Pre Writing Activities

              The prewriting activity I am using for this assignment is an observation and inference chart. I am choosing to use this chart because I believe it applies very well for a rhetorical analysis. On one side I can have all of my observations or evidence for the different rhetorical strategies I am analyzing. On the other side of the chart I can have my inferences or explanations for what I see in the observations. From this chart I can take my ideas and add some transitions and extra sentences and come up with a rough draft. Also, having the observations listed can allow me to group ideas and organize my ideas for my paper.

Here's a link to my pre-writing.

https://pixabay.com/static/uploads/photo/2015/02/03/15/52/think-622689_640.png

Blog Post 25: Personal Response

               The text that I am choosing to do my rhetorical analysis on is Humans of New York. I chose this text because of how interesting the stories are and the purpose. When I was looking at Humans of New York the first time, I couldn't stop reading each individuals' story. They were so interesting and all so different. Some happy, some sad, and some funny. It shows how big the world is with such a diverse group of people but also how small it is with so many parts of the world being represented in New York alone. The purpose also interested me because as I looked through the different years, the purpose changes. It is at first more for entertainment and then it develops into more humanitarian with the trips to the middle East.


I commented on Kian's blog and

Outline Student's Guide Essay

Here is a link to my outline.


              From the Student's Guide Essay, a strong paragraph is body paragraph 3. The paragraph is very closely connected to the thesis because this paragraph is about Washington's bias and how he never addresses the other side of the argument. The paragraph provides examples of the arguments proposed by Washington and then provides an example of how the opposing ideas could be addressed to strengthen Washington's argument. A weak paragraph is body paragraph 4. In body paragraph 4 the essay addresses a way in which Washington's essay loses its strength. The majority of the paragraph is about how Washington uses credible sources but then the last sentence says he loses strength because he is too dependent on sources. To improve this paragraph I would add an explanation for this or try to combine it with the next paragraph which gives an explanation about the misuse of sources. The two paragraphs could be combined.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ce/ISR-EGY_border_6521a.jpg

Observations: Takes pictures of random people he meets in the street Photos usually centered around one person or a family or small group Photographer describes self as becoming obsessed about things People are of all ages, ethnicities, and socio-economic classes Less pictures in early months of HONY In recent years there is pictures from foreign countries such as Iraq, Republic of Congo, and European countries In the early years, many of the photos were of colorful differently dressed people. The people who stood out in a crowd Tone of photos changes from photo to photo. Some happy, some sad, some funny, etc. Photos published on social media (facebook, tumblr, instagram, etc.)

Inferences: He wants to show people’s unique stories Photographer is passionate about what he does and the strangers he photographs Wants to be thorough and show everyone’s story. Every person is special Photographer was testing the water and as it succeeded he took more pictures and more people wanted their pictures taken Photographer wanted to show the world others stories. A lot of stories about refugees so he is trying to show the stories and cause the world to demand for change in those countries these people are fleeing from Originally the blog was for entertainment purposes and to show uniqueness Trying to tell a variety of stories Allows anyone to see it anywhere in the world so the audience is people in the world with access to these social media sources

               After creating my observation and inference chart about HONY, the most interesting thing to me is the stories of the individuals. I read them for over an hour instead of making observations or inferences. They captured my attention and I just kept reading them. If I choose to write about HONY, I would want to write about why he started to include the stories and the purpose behind this. How do the stories help Brandon Stanton accomplish what he wants to accomplish with HONY.

HONY SOAPStone

               Humans of New York is created by photographer Brandon Stanton. The occasion for Stanton starting HONY is he Stanton was unemployed so he moved to New York and started taking pictures of people and getting their stories. Stanton's audience is people from all over the world. All of his pictures are posted on different forms of social media and are available all over the world. He has even traveled and taken pictures of people in different countries and many people have asked him to come to their country. His audience is people who use the different forms of social media all over the world. The purpose of HONY is to show that everyone is unique and has their own story. When he does his work he takes portraits of people and then talks to them and listens to their story. The subject of his piece is the people of New York, city he is in, or the country he is in. Currently he has been doing lots of photos of refugees from countries such as Syria. The tone of HONY is informational. Stanton is informing people about the unique story of all the individuals that he photographs.

https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3703/11046266555_b64e546dd7.jpg

#LikeAGirl SOAPStone

The speaker for the like a girl campaign is Always. Always is a company owned by Procter and Gamble and sells feminine hygiene products. The occasion for the commercials is the Super Bowl, but it is also to try and change the culture around the phrase "like a girl". There is negative connotations when saying "like a girl" and they are trying to change that so that it is no longer putting girls down and lowering their confidence. The audience of the campaign is women of all ages and also young boys. In the commercials they depicted women of all ages and also focused on one young boy. The purpose of the campaign is to first sell products and advertise Always, but at the same time they are trying to empower women of all ages and show them that they can do anything. The tone of the campaign changes from the beginning to the end of the advertisement. At the beginning of the advertisement the tone is more light hearted. Lauren Greenfield is just asking the women and men to show how girls do certain things. Later it becomes more serious when she asks them if those are insults and then it becomes hopeful and shows the young girls demonstrating the same actions.

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Revised Blog 20

               The makeover is deeply ingrained in our culture. Girls and women are raised doing makeovers as recreational activities. This includes makeovers on themselves, on their friends, or on dolls and toys. Greenfield captures this obsession with makeovers in her photos taken at a weight loss camp in New York. In our society, a women with a thin body is worshipped and valued, thin is equal to better. This makes it very difficult to live as an overweight girl in our society. Through her photos, Greenfield shows the struggle that these girls experience. However, these photos provoke other questions such as the struggle in the girls own home. Are their families forcing the girls to change their physical appearance to fit societal expectations or is it in the best interest of the girls? In Girl Culture there is small pieces of narration for the photos, but many pictures are asking us what we think.


              From outlining I learned that an outline is a very useful tool for dissecting a piece of writing. The format makes it very easy to see the relationship between the topic sentences and the thesis. Then by reading further down you can see the examples the author is using to support his argument. Outlines allow for a quick analysis when looking back on the paper later on. An outline could also be used in prewriting your own piece. You can outline your main points and thesis and then fill in the supporting ideas. Next just add fillers and explanations and you have a rough draft. After trying to rewrite Brumberg's paragraph, I learned that it is very easy to drift away from the original and incorporate your own ideas. On my first attempt I used my outline, which was missing one or two ideas, and added my own ideas. My paragraph is about the same topic but it ended up being pretty different. However if I had had the original open, it would have been very similar to the original. So to rewrite it is good to do two drafts, one without looking at it and another while looking and then create a hybrid of the two paragraphs.

Extra Credit Word Cloud

I created my word cloud using worditout.com. I set it to show words that I used six times or more in my QRG.

Group Rhetorical Analysis of Girl Culture

Group outline. The section I am rewriting is the section about makeovers in today's society.

               In our culture today the makeover is welcomed and embraced. Makeovers are a common activity for women of all ages. In movies women from all age groups are shown having fun doing each others' hair, makeup, nails, and picking outfits. Lauren Greenfield captures a more realistic version of the makeover in her photoessay Girl Culture. Greenfield depicts girls and women at fat camps in New York. Many of these women are unhappy with their own appearance. Much of this can be attributed to society's value on thin women. Societal expectations are for women to be thin. Thin means that they are better. However Greenfield's photographs allow the reader to make to form their own opinions about the "imperfect" bodies.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Blush.JPG

               In my rewrite I used several parts of SOAPStone. The first part that I used is speaker. I used speaker to introduce the artist, Lauren Greenfield, whose work is being rhetorically analyzed. This then allows for the reader to bring in any background knowledge that they may have about the topic such as examples of her work. The next part of SOAPStone that I use is subject. I identify that the subject is the women in Greenfield's photo essay, Girl Culture. By identifying these women and collection of pictures, I made it clear for the audience what I am specifically analyzing. Greenfield has many pieces of work so by identifying which one I am analyzing, it makes it clearer for the reader.

Visual Analysis of a Photo

http://www.instituteartist.com/exhibition-Girl-Culture-Lauren-Greenfield

                  The main focus of the photo are the pictures of the lady smiling and the note on the mirror. These are the most focused images and are at the foreground of the picture. On the edges of the photo there are beauty products. Behind the smiling pictures is a mirror where part of a woman's face is shown, but the image of her face is blurry. The angle that the picture is taken from is the point of view of the women whose hand and face appear in the picture. It is meant to show what she sees when she is putting on makeup or getting ready. Her point of view gives an insight into what she is thinking and seeing. The images of the smiling woman and the note are also larger compared to other portions of the picture. It is zoomed in and more focused on them.  The note and smiling pictures are meant to show how women struggle with accepting their own image and need reassurance that they are happy with their bodies and image.

A Reflection on Unit One

                The quick reference guide was a new format for a piece of writing. I had seen some before this assignment, but I never knew it is its own format. Through the process of writing one I used many new programs, learned about my field of interest, and learned about my writing.

http://www.pdpics.com/photo/1315-fish-reflection-water-tank

                 Some of the new tools I used are a new citation generator and cluster making programs. The citation generator I used is reffworks. I found it on the University of Arizona library website and I found it to be very useful. Reffworks could create citations for a large amount of styles and only required the user to input certain information depending on the type of source. It then created and formatted the citation or your bibliography page. The cluster program making program that I used in my pre-writing is popplet. Popplet is simple to use and is very useful for pre-writing or organizing my ideas. It allows me to create a graphic organizer of my ideas which makes it easier to see connections between ideas or conflicts between them. After looking at my cluster I actually came up with one of my main ideas in my quick reference guide. These two programs will be very helpful for future writing projects.

                  Before starting the quick reference guide I had not known much about current events going on in my field of study. After my research I have learned a lot about one of the most recent controversies, gene editing. The main reason that gene editing is controversial because of the lack of communication. Most of the communication that occurs is criticism of those doing research on it. Instead of being constructive and trying to come up with a compromise on what is acceptable to be done with gene editing, the majority of communications is criticism and saying “you can’t do that”. The groups against gene editing main argument mostly involves religious beliefs and future fears. If they communicated these in a positive way, they would be able to come to an agreement and resolve the whole controversy.

           After writing my quick reference guide and reflecting on the process, I learned a lot about my writing. A strength that I found in my writing process is my research. I generated solid ideas and gathered a lot of supporting information for my ideas. My research included multiple sources of different types such as social media, online magazines, scientific journals, and other types. At the same time I learned that there is parts of my writing that I need to work on. One thing I need to work on is writing style. In my writing I have a tendency to repeat the same word over and over. Another part of my writing style is my fluidity. I don’t always use transition words so my sentences are choppy. To improve this I need to work on adding transition words and varying my word choice. I can achieve this by reading more to improve my vocabulary and also using a thesaurus throughout the drafting process. The most important thing I learned from the quick reference guide is drafting is very important. Multiple drafts allow you to keep improving your piece of writing, add new ideas, remove weak ideas, and improve the overall quality of your paper.