Revised Paragraph

Before:

A hot topic in biomedical engineering has been gene editing. Since the creation of CRISPR Cas9, gene editing has become much simpler, cheaper, and easier. Gene editing is now not only reserved for the elite researchers who can convince Universities or organizations to give them large sums of money and labs to do their research. With the simpler technique there will be an increase in the number of experiments done on gene editing for clinical purposes. The main clinical use for gene editing is the correction of genetic diseases. It has the potential to completely wipe out genetic disorders and increase the quality of life for millions of people.


After:

A hot topic in biomedical engineering is gene editing. Since the creation of the CRISPR Cas9 gene editing technique, gene editing has become simpler, cheaper, and easier. Therefore, Gene editing is now not only reserved for the elite researchers who are backed by Universities or Organizations with lots of resources. With the simpler technique there will be an increase in the number of experiments done on gene editing for clinical purposes, especially correction of genetic diseases. This has the potential to completely wipe out genetic disorders and increase the quality of life for millions of people.


The main changes that I made is I replaced passive voice with active voice and I also changed words around so that they were more specific and pointed towards the topic of my paragraph. Many of the words I had were vague so I put in specific transitions to point back to the topic and make the paragraph more fluid.