Peer Review and Revised Thesis

                After the peer review process, I learned that there are a couple areas of my paper that need to be changed. One area is my organization. There is a whole section that I could hyperlink and combine two sections. One of the sections is so specific and short that it can be included within another section. There is also a link to a video that I have as evidence that could be hyperlinked to the topic that it explains. With my organization I realized that I completely skipped a very important section. My controversy is the ethical guidelines and I didn't include a section that explained the current ones or a section that explained who decided the guidelines. These are very important ideas for my quick reference guide. I will probably put them between the "What's the Issue" section and the "Where is the Controversy Taking Place" sections.
                  Another area that needs improvement is my evidence and explanations areas. I need to include more quotes and provide a deeper analysis. In my "Fears" section I can analyze more of how the technology would be used for eugenics and why this is a bad thing. For my "What's the Issue" section I can hyperlink a video to CRISPR Cas9 when I first mention it. The video would provide a simpler explanation of the technology and how it works and provide visuals which would simplify the explanation and make my paper less technical. This is an advantage for a quick reference guide because it is not supposed to be an academic journal article. It is supposed to be a quick simplified explanation of a topic. I also need to write a conclusion to my quick reference guide and explain why this is important and be something that the reader cares about after reading my guide.
                 

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/68/ScientificReview.jpg

Rewritten thesis:
As new technologies are created people will gain skills never had before and therefore there must be followed and enforced ethical guidelines in order to preserve a high quality life for future generations and to prevent inhumane uses of these new skills and technologies.